Home chapel content - November 2015

Skills for life


Text:  Exodus 35:35, 2 Chronicles 34:12


Memory Verse: Ecclesiastes 10: 10 (NIV) ‘If the axe is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed, but skill will bring success’.



The term ‘Life Skills’ refers to the skills you need to make the most out of life. Life skills are usually associated with managing and living a better quality of life. They help us to accomplish our ambitions and live to our full potential. Any skill that is useful in your life can be considered a life skill. Tying your shoe laces, swimming, driving a car and using a computer are, for most people, useful life skills.


The most important Life Skill - There is no definitive list of life skills. Certain skills may be more or less relevant to you depending on your life circumstances, your culture, beliefs, age, geographic location, etc.


Different life skills will be more or less relevant at different times of your life, for example:


  • When at school or university, you'll need study skills
  • When buying a house, negotiation skills may be needed
  • You'll need to work on your employability skillsto get a job
  • When working, leadershipand presentation skills may be useful, along with a whole host of other skills.
  • When you start a family, time management skillsand organising skills are likely to become important.
  • Also, there will be times throughout your life when you'll needconflict resolution, stress-management and problem solving skills too.



  • Perhaps the most important life skill is the ability and willingness to learn - Proverbs 9:9
  • By learning new skills we increase our understanding of the world around us and equip ourselves with the tools we need to live a more productive and fulfilling life, finding ways to cope with the challenges that life, inevitably, throws at us. Proverbs 24:5
  • Life skills are not always taught directly but often learned indirectly through experience and practice. Proverbs 1:8-9.



Types of skills

  1. Personal skills - Personal Skills are the essential life skills we need to help maintain a healthy body and mind. It comprises of:
    • Personal development - Personal development is a lifelong process. It’s a way for people to assess their skills and qualities, consider their aims in life and set goals in order to realise and maximise their potential. Practical steps that can be taken to enhance your personal development are: organising your time, producing a personal CV, undertaking a skills appraisal and more importantly, overcoming barriers for learning new skills.
    • Character-building skill – This is basically reflecting the fruit of the spirit – 5:22-25.
    • Assertiveness Skill - This is not about being aggressive or passive but a tool we use to develop an understanding of ourselves and communicate our beliefs, values and opinions to others.
    • Time management - The way that we manage our time has a direct effect on how we feel. There are many things in life that can, potentially, waste a lot of time.  By minimising distractions and removing time-wasters from our day we can accomplish more and potentially become more successful.
    • Stress & stress management - Stress is common in modern life. Many of us have demands that we feel we constantly need to balance–work, family, church, relationship with God, money, health and so on. Stress can make you seriously ill if not properly managed. There are many coping mechanisms for stress. Identify yours and help yourself.
    • Anger, anger management and aggression - We all get angry from time to time. Anger is a natural emotion that can be triggered by stress, frustration, feelings of wrong-doing and many other factors. It is important to note that aggressive behaviour towards others is unacceptable and a criminal offence. As we are all aware, aggression can be very damaging both psychologically and physically for all involved. Ecclesiastes 7:9

2.     Interpersonal Skills – These are the life skills we use every day to communicate and interact with other people, both individually and in groups.  People who have worked on developing strong interpersonal skills are usually more successful in both their professional and personal lives.  Employers often seek to hire staff with 'strong interpersonal skills' - they want people who will work well in a team and be able to communicate effectively with colleagues, customers and clients.


Interpersonal skill includes:

·         Verbal communication - What we say and how we say it.

  • Non-verbal communication- What we say without words, body language is an example.
  • Listening skills - How we interprete both the verbal and non-verbal messages sent by others.
  • Negotiation - Working with others to find a mutually agreeable outcome.
  • Problem solving - Working with others to identify, define and solve problems.
  • Decision making - Exploring and analysing options to make sound decisions.
  • Assertiveness - Communicating our values, ideas, beliefs, opinions, needs and wants freely.


  1. Leadership Skills - The ability to lead effectively is based on a number of key skills.Here are the skills good leaders need:
  • People skills - Leaders need skills in working with others on a one-to-one and group basis, and a range of tools in their armoury to deal with a wide range of situations.


  • For new leaders - One of the first skills that new leaders need to master is how to delegate.This is a difficult skill for many people but, done well, delegation can give team members responsibility and a taste of leadership themselves, and help them to remain motivated.


  • Effective personal qualities - There are a number of personal qualities which leaders tend to display. However, these qualities could be either intrinsic or developed and improved over time. They include (a) charisma, that quality of ‘brightness’ which makes people want to follow a leader (b) assertiveness, which enables that person to make their point without aggression, but firmly, and (c) empathy, understanding of how others feel. One way to understand leadership qualities is in terms of Emotional Intelligence, an umbrella term that describes how well we relate to others and to our own feelings.


  • Excellent communication - Leaders also need finely-honed communication skills. Successful leaders tend to show high levels of skill when communicating. Good leaders tend to be extremely good listeners, able to listen actively and elicit information by good questioning. They know how to build rapport quickly and effectively, to develop good, strong relationships with others, whether peers or subordinates. They are usually very good at public speaking, equally skilled at getting their point across in a formal presentation, informal meeting or casual corridor conversation. They have strong negotiation skills, in the broadest sense, in terms of reaching win-win situations and making sure that they know their ‘bottom line’. They have also honed their ability to communicate in difficult situations, usually by practice over time.


4.     Learning Skills – This is the most important of all skills! Much has been said and written about the importance of learning. But what does it really mean? At its most basic, it means being open to new experiences and ideas, and allowing ourselves to grow from what we encounter in the world. Learning can be formal or informal.

Learning is a Lifelong Skill - Children are naturally eager to learn, even if not to study. But as adults, it can be all too easy to forget that learning remains important. Those who want to learn are open to new experiences, actively seeking out ways to learn and develop. They retain a keen interest in the world, and always want to know how to improve. Learning is a lifelong approach and attitude, and it will serve you well if you cultivate it.


In conclusion….how skilled are you? Have you got the most important of all the skills? Are you using these skills for the Lord? Exodus 35:10, 1Chronicles 22:15-16 & 2Chronicles 2:7.

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Email: church at royalcity.org.uk

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Venue: RCCG Royal City, The Chamber Hall, Town Council Offices, Bradbourne Vale Road, Sevenoaks TN13 3QG.

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